A very simple definition of swingers is: A couple who has sex with another couple.
But there are some more things which are relevant in swinging.
Normally you swing with your own partner. This means the man or woman with whom you are having a relationship (married, engaged, living together etc.) is taking part in this action.
Also it is important that he four (or more) persons who participate in this sexual encounter, all agree. So there is no forcing or compulsion involved. All four people of the group agree to have sex with each other. The male and female of the couples are swapped for sexual or intimate interaction. This interaction doesn’t always mean fucking. It can also mean oral sex, or even only touching the intimate parts or kissing. Swinging, does not necessarily always means, going all the way with the other couple. In most cases it does, but in particular, couples who are just starting, can have a lot of restrictions.
Diane (39) and Mike (41) have had a steady relationship for 10 years. They both feel, that they would find it quite exciting, to have some form of sex together with another couple. They are going to go to a swingers club for the first time and are enjoying the atmosphere in the club. They get into a conversation at the bar with another nice couple, and after a few drinks they go to the playrooms together. Peter kisses the wife of the other couple and touches her in her most intimate places and Karin plays a bit with the penis of the husband of the other couple.
For non-swingers this would already be unthinkable. Your own partner doing something like that with someone else. For normal people this equals cheating and many relationships would come to a stop if your own partner would be touching the genitals of someone else. But for swingers, this is normal behavior and they love it.
The example above is also referred to as soft swinging or soft swap, in which no effort is made to fuck another partner. Within the swingers world, this is about the simplest form of swinging and is not very significant. Experienced swingers would get bored, if it would not go any further than this. In their opinion this is way too soft, a kind of swinging-light. They didn't polish their shoes for just that, they like to go all the way.
Swinging comes in all sorts of gradations and in practice swinging can go further and further. The longer you are swinging, the more it can become a sliding scale. Former agreements between the man and wife of a swingerscouple can become obsolete quickly the more you swing. Things which you have agreed upon in the past, to never do that, can become obvious and normal at some point. Of course it does not have to be that way (you will decide that yourselves), but it certainly can. And many times it does. If you both like it, you ‘ll grow into the swinging lifestyle. You can read more about the different forms of swinging on the next page of this swingers information site.
As said earlier, our definition of swingers is bit simplistic. In practice, there are also all kinds of variants and grey areas.
A variant is for example, that only the women are intimate with each other. This is a bisexual date between the ladies. The men can do little else than watching the show and playing with their own dick.
Another grey area is as one or both partners of a couple are having sexdates on their own. So they don’t go as couple, but one of them is having a date with a man or a woman. The partner is not present at all, but he or she knows about it and does approve this date.
Can you call it swinging when a couple is having sex with a single in trio sex? This kind of action happens more and more. Singles who participate in the swingers circuit (swingles) to have sex with the couple. In case the single is a woman, most of the times both partners of the couple will have sex with the woman. In case the single is a man, usually only the woman of the couple will have sex with the man, while her partner watches or in many cases will participate at the same time in the sexual activities, meaning they are having a threesome, where the woman gets the attention of two men simultaneously.
There are also occasional couples who do not have a relationship, but are only together to form a swingers couple. So they are not spouses or partners, they only form a swingerscouple to have sex with others.
And last but not least there are many small or big private swinger parties, where lots of couples are present. The man and woman of the swingers couple will both have sex at the party, and probably more than once too, but it does not have to be with partners of the same couple. So this is not like the classic form of swinging where two couples exchange partners for sex. When more couples are involved, you can have sex with anybody, who is present at that party.
With these examples above we wanted to show, that swinging can come in many forms. Some of them are not swinging in the classic way. But you are having sex with someone else than your own partner and in most cases your partner will be there watching you and meanwhile having sex with another person too. You can read much more about it on the other pages of this site.